No more mommy bear

When Paul and I were just beginning our family we sat down and talked about our goals. What do we want our family to be like? What is our top goals. The number one of course was that our family would glorify God through serving and honoring Him in our words, attitudes, thoughts, and actions. But a second goal kept surfacing as important. That was to raise our children to be godly adults dependent on God, not us. We based this goal on :
1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 (New International Version)

11Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, 12so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

I like goals...they give me clear directions. They tend to unscramble or untangle situations. One thing this particular has done for me has helped me to put aside my "mommy" tendencies or feelings and let my kids hurt. As my kids get older their situations get bigger and it is hard to let them "feel" it. I like to soften the blow. Another thing us moms are known for is taking up offense for our kids. When someone hurts them we want to be right there next to them fighting for their rights...but as I consider this I am wondering if this is really a right and best repsonse? It's something I am thinking over some lately. Our world teaches us that we should make sure we stick up for our kids...not that we shouldn't ever...there may be times for this, but I wonder if this is a form of "coddling". Perhaps I need to instead of sticking up for them, I need to teach them to suck it up. To learn to "take it". I guess if my goal was to raise my kids to always be my babies then I would run and rescue them and coddle them and make sure they know I am sticking up for them (this is okay--but not the first goal.) My first goal has got to be raising them to be mature, responsible, godly and dependent adults on God--not me. I need to always be putting them back to God, I need to always be pointing them back to what the Bible teaches our responses should be toward those who would offend us. If I run to their side and say to them, "o! You poor thing...those bad people! Well, it's okay, mommy loves you." Hmmmm...well, that would be okay I guess if they were never going to grow up and move away. I could always come running to their side to make them feel better. But that's not reality. My kids will grow up and they will get hurt out there and people will mistreat them...so what am I doing to prepare them for this? what is most important for them right now, for them to feel mommy loves them and hates those bad people who hurt them, mommy will always be on your side? Or do I teach them, our repsonse toward people like that is to be gentle, loving, patient, kind, not returning evil for evil, insult for insult. I need to give them the BIBLICAL tools (not worldly), to handle life's pressures and insults.
Just something I am pondering as I see time passing by quickly. I don't want to raise wimps! I want to raise godly giants. Totally dependent on God, not mommy.
I have to put aside my initial feelings to "protect" or to the mother bear...I just have to. Those feelings are more about me, not my kids. I hear moms, myself included using that as a reason to defend their child...but in reality, that could just be a cover for selfish mommy feelings.
So, yeah, I am thinking about this because my kids go through hard stuff sometimes. Sometimes the hard stuff they go through is because of their poor sinful choices and I have to put my mommy feelings aside and let them have the consequences to their actions. No matter how tough.
This why I am glad I have a husband. I can guarantee that most times my husband is right about the course of action to take in the discipline--painful. I need to just step aside and submit to his leadership in this. He is able to separate what is best from his feelings much better than I do. I need to be willing to acknowledge that God has equipped our husbands to be tough...and we mommy's need to submit God's design in this.
I tell you what, It's hard sometimes. I don't like to see my kids have painful consequences. Not fun at all.