CREATED TO BE HIS

Life

2008-04-27T13:28:00.000-07:00

Been awhile since I have posted anything.
Life goes forward. My kids are getting big! It is exciting to see God at work in their lives. It's funny how having kids makes you think about things you wouldn't otherwise think about. I learn alot b/c of them too. I think they are a tool in God's hands to sanctify me. My son who is almost 13 amazes me sometimes. His insights into scripture go beyond his years. I think it has to do with how much discipleship my husband does with him. While my son still hasn't quite chosen to submit to God's will for his life, I believe it is just around the corner. The Lord keeps after him. It's interesting how it seems like one particular area of his life God is pursuing him in...and that's choosing on his own to be in the word and prayer. I tend to believe that as soon as my son makes this choice on his own we will see tremendous growth. School work is hard for him. God uses it to keep his attention. God wants this boy's heart! I can tell. It has helped for him to have a ministry this year in the public school. He and his sister come along with me to good news club. Tim went from this aloof attitude about it too teaching the mission lesson each week. I do believe my son has the gift of teaching. He is amazing to watch teach.
Then there is my sweet daughter. She has decided her course. And I have never seen some so determined as she to follow God. She is excited about the Lord. He is her delight. She reads and studies her bible and has a prayer journal. What a blessing to see my daughter follow the Lord.
Everyday I see the Lord at work in our home. I would not want to miss this for the world. I can't imagine choosing the worldly materials over this!
My daughter has alot of skill with her hands. I remember when she was little she loved to do things with her hands. This continues to follow her. She has only been playing the piano 8 months and is at level 3 and playing from a hymnal. Okay...so she is a very unique teenage girl. She loves hymns, doesn't want to get wrapped with boys, and hates shopping! She adores her daddy. Very rarely does my daughter argue with us. But she didn't get to this place easily. It's been a difficult passed year. She went through a sort of rebellion--that really concerned my husband and I. We were sort of side swiped by her anger after my Brother in law died. She became a different person. She also seemed suicidal. It left my husband and I second guessing ourselves. In my mom's great wisdom she encouraged us with the truth. She said God hangs on to our children tighter than we do. Don't lose heart! God isn't finished with her yet!
So true. I am glad we listened to her. I can't believe we are where are today.
So while my son now seems to be going through a difficult time and am assured that God has everything under control.
Sometimes we forget that God uses trials in our children's lives just like he does in adults. He is sanctifying our children too and we shouldn't get in the way of that. I shouldn't be there to cushion the "pain" that God intends to use to draw them close to Him.
I heard an amazing story this weekend. It was about the life of a chinese woman who gave her life for the Lord. (The book is called, If I perish"). She was in a prison because she had shared the gospel. She became so ill that they set her free temporarily so that she could get well enough to come back. When she left the prison her mother met her at the doors. She said to her that she was supposed to be where God wanted her--in prison. She reminded her that life outside the prison walls wasn't much easier for Christians. Wow! you know, I don't know that I could send my child back into torture. That seems like a big thing to ask! But isn't that what the Heavenly Father did for us?
I must make sure that my grip on my children is loose. Ready to give them up at a moments notice for the Lord. But it's a process to get to that place of willingness. So, anyway, I have been praying that I would losen my grip and give the Holy Spirit room in my children's lives. I want them to learn to hear his voice, not really mine.
Well, I have rambled.
Thanks for hanging this long with me.
Di

Why can I praise him in the storms?

2008-04-08T13:00:00.000-07:00

Currently, I am reading a book entitled, "War of Words" by Paul Tripp. So the following are some thoughts I have gleaned from his book:

So, there lots of bible verses we have learned that teach we should be thankful always. We should praise God always. We should always rejoice. There are alot of praise and worship songs that teach the same principle. Two of my favorite songs that teach this are: "I Will Praise Him in the Storm" and "Blessed be the Name." We know this is true. We can clearly see it as a command. Definitely a way to worship the Lord. But have you ever stopped to ask yourself, "Why can I praise Him when things are going so badly?"

Think for a minute about your everyday communication...what does it usually express? Maybe we usually complain about our difficult circumstances. Tough neighbors, difficult job, disruptive kids at good news club (my personal one), unappreciative family members (husband, wife, children), defective lawn mower, heavy taxes, and the list goes on. Or maybe we are irritated toward people who get in our way? Like during rush hour traffic, child who is in the bathroom when you need it, etc. Our words even express envy toward others...like toward that non-believing neighbor who has the extra money to build on that new addition to their house, or maybe Christian friends who seem to be the object of God's blessings, or your best friend who gets that full ride scholarship to an Ivy League college.

You know, so much of our praise tends to be limited to moments when we have determined that what he has done is good. When we have good health, a new baby safely arrives, getting a good grade on a test. But many times, when the things are going "bad" --those are the times we have to remind ourselves to make ourselves praise Him. But what if we were to truly believe that God is in everything? What if we were to truly believe that God is in every single moment of my life--at work, doing something good in me, something redemptive? Perhaps if we begin to realize this and believe it, we will understand why we are to praise him in the storms. In reality, God is always doing something good in my life. ALWAYS. That is why I can and should ALWAYS rejoice and be thankful. This thought is truly humbling to me. God has us just where HE wants us so that HE can accomplish those good purposes in me that he promises to complete.

Ephesians 2:13

"For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose."

My thought life

2008-03-13T11:09:00.001-07:00

For the last several weeks I have been paying close attention to my thoughts. I am just amazed at how many discouraging thoughts go through this mind...no wonder I struggle from time to time with my feelings. No wonder I have wrong responses to trials. Anyway, one particular thought, which may seem minor to some of you, is "Winter makes me depressed." As far back as I can remember I have struggled with winter time blues. The times I have sunk into depression have been in the winter. A couple of weeks ago, on the way to church, I said to my son, "I wish it would warm up!" Then it hit me, I was complaining!!!!! I was not rejoicing in the day God had given to me b/c it was cold. WOW! All of the sudden, like a ton of bricks, I realized that the thought, "Winter makes me depressed." was a sinful thought, it came from a complaining heart. And I was basing my happiness or joy on my circumstances rather than on God. I confessed the sinful thought to the Lord and asked Him to renew my thoughts. Over the course of the next few days the Lord renewed my thoughts in this particular area... I have come away with this thought instead, "I am tempted to be depressed when it is winter. But there is no reason to not rejoice in this day!" I now recognize that my whole thought process in this was sinful. Winter doesn't make me depressed--my sinful and complaining response to winter or the cold weather is what makes me blue or depressed. I wasn't taking responsibility for my thoughts...I wasn't taking them captive. So now, I need to really replace this with thanksgiving. I need to acknowledge that each day is the day that the Lord has made and rejoice in it. I do recognize that cold weather does tend to affect me physically--it is a bit uncomfortable for me...it's a challenge sometimes to stay warm or healthy and not get tired, which makes it a little harder for me to be thankful...but with the Lord's help, I look forward to perhaps less winter time blues in the future!

"This is the day that the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!"

My feelings...

2008-02-16T14:12:00.001-08:00

Well, over at girltalk they have been discussing "feelings" and how to control them. It has given me so much to think on. I have realized that what I think is how I feel and how I feel will be how I think. It's a vicious circle if I am not careful. So, I am really being challenged to consider the things I think about...is there anything I tell myself over and over again, whether true or not, that could effect my feelings...be that weight that easily entangles me? God wants me to think of the things that will build me up. Just like we are careful with our words to others--words that are edifying...I have to be sure that my words I speak to myself are edifying to my spirit.
I can really see some things I think that could lead me down the wrong path...thoughts that can ensare my feelings.
Perhaps thoughts that are carried to their extreme, perhaps they hold an ounce of truth...but I carry them to their extreme. So, for the next several days I am going to be watchful to my "extreme" thoughts. Thoughts that have gone amuk.
Di

An attempt at writing...

2008-02-08T17:48:00.000-08:00

The Godly Wife:
Questions that Encourage

This article is written for us Christian women who desire and seek to honor the Lord through godly lives as wives and mothers. So often, we fall short. We all do. Right now at this very moment, my heart is in “godly sorrow” mode for a sin against my husband. Through God’s grace though, I cannot view this sin against my husband as a “failure” on my part—but as a sin, that can and is forgiven. Not a failure. To use the word “failure” would be to say, “As a believer, I am without hope.” No, I should see myself as “More than a conqueror.” Through the ever present and divine power of the Holy Spirit, I can be a godly wife. No, on this side of heaven I will not reach perfection. But through His strength and through faith I can please Him with my life. I can set a pattern of godliness as a wife, because, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” And that is the secret to my contentment in life. It is the secret that keeps me from wallowing in my “failures.” It is the secret that drives me forward after I sin, not backwards. It is what keeps me out of the pit of self pity, when I sin. It is that knowledge that keeps me from punishing myself over and over again, for a sin that has been forgiven. There is always hope for God’s children. Always. When I lose hope, it is not because there is less to hope in, it is because of the variableness of my heart—my heart has lost focus on that hope--because I am not clinging to that eternal hope.
The following questions are based on scriptural concepts for the Christian wife. The questions are meant to only serve as a tool to encourage us toward a God-ward focus in our marriages. It also can serve as a sort of evaluation of where I am at. While, it is true that at times when we follow the commands of scripture, it brings about pleasant results—God does not intend for us to make that our motivation. God can use our obedient lives to encourage others to be obedient. But we must not make this our driving purpose in following God’s commands. And we must recognize that just because I am obeying God will not always mean my husband will. It is important that our primary purpose in obedience to God is because of our commitment to God. God’s word should not be used to accomplish our own will. When we follow the commands of scripture, yet our husbands do not, this will test the motives of our heart. If I choose to discontinue following God’s commands because my husband mistreats me or disobeys God, then that reveals my true motives. Just like, if I continue to obey God, no matter what my husband does, that too will reveal my true motives.
Something I have learned is that my husband has come to rely on me a lot. Just like I have come to rely on him. I believe God intended it to be this way. I think that God means to meet our needs through each other. Not every single need. But a lot of them. I also believe God uses us to show his love to others. I can think of several times my husband did some little thoughtful deed and it was enough to give me the wind in my sails to carry me through the rest of the day. I readily admit that I need my husband’s love and encouragement. When he becomes thoughtless toward me or is harsh with me, that is so very discouraging. It actually can become a stumbling block for me. It can become an obstacle that makes it even harder to live out the Christian life. I would venture to guess that our husbands count on our support in a similar way. You and I both would admit that we are responsible for our own actions and attitudes. But think about the last time your husband praised you or thought to bring you flowers—did this encourage you on to be more attentive to him? Did this give you some umption in your gumption to keep on keeping on? Maybe it even gave you such a vitamin boost that you felt you could take on the world…well, at least the next crisis. There is something about feeling like we are being cheered on. Like someone is on our side--no matter what there is someone who will stick with me. Never turn against me.
So, our primary reason for being a godly wife should be, of course, to honor God with our lives, but what if part of honoring God with our lives was to be the wind in our husband’s sails? To be his cheerleader? Perhaps it honors God to make the cause and effect our secondary motivation—so that we are enriching our marriages?
The following questions can challenge us, draw our attention to areas that need some extra work, or relieve us that we are doing pretty good in some areas. One thing that I think is important to recognize is that just because I fall short in any of these areas does not make me an ungodly wife, nor does it excuse my husband for his sins. But excelling in one or more of these areas does not necessarily mean I have it all together either. What we do does not make us more spiritual. It is Christ in us that makes us more righteous. But these questions can motivate you to press forward to what is ahead, to set your focus on that prize. Please remember, any practical suggestion that I may give in how to apply these scriptural principles, are only suggestions and should not be considered as part of God’s commands. Ask God to give you the wisdom to know how best you can follow through in obedience.
1. What would you say is your primary goal in your marriage: to please God (2 Corinthians 5:9), or to please yourself and hope that God agrees? This is a foundational question for spiritual growth as a godly wife. If pleasing God is not your primary goal, then many things will deter you from following his commands. You may find yourself only obeying God’s commands when it is in your best interest, when it produces the results you are hoping for. You may also find yourself struggling with obeying God when your husband is struggling with obedience. However, if your motivation is from a heart that desires to honor God, then no obstacle will stop you from obedience to God.
2. In what ways do you demonstrate that you are your husband’s helper? (Gen. 2:18) — Do you find ways to encourage and support him, making his service to God easier? Or do the things you say or do hinder him in anyway?
3. How do you show that you cleave to your husband (Gen. 2:24)? Do you put him first? Do his opinions and preferences matter more to you than your parents, friends, authors, teachers, etc? Do you defer to him before others?
3. In what ways do you show your submission to the leadership of your husband in your home? (Gen. 3:16; cf. Prov. 19:3; 21:9, 19; 27:15)? There are some things we can do that will help us guard against trying to be the “leader” of our home. Do your words reflect a respect for your husband? Seeking to show respect with our words, even when we are expressing how we feel about something is one way we can show our submission. It helps to first think carefully about what we should say—filtering our words carefully before we speak can protect us from disrespectfulness. We also show respect to the leader of our home by speaking only good things about our husbands. Not putting him in a negative light. You may also want to consider outside influences that could effect your attitude toward the headship of your husband.
4. Consider your wedding vows. What were/are they? Are you following through with each one? (Ecclesiastes 5:4, 5; Num. 30:2-5; Ps. 15:4b; 50:14; 76:11; Prov. 20:25; contrast Prov. 2:17)? The marriage vows are binding in God's eyes as long as you both shall live. Each day of the week, each moment of the day, you are either working to fulfill those vows, or you are breaking your commitment to them. If you realize that you have broken one or all of your vows, through confession and repentance you will find, not only forgiveness from God, but joy and a new start. It would be an encouragement to your husband as well, to confess this to him and ask him to pray for you as you start anew. Also remember, God is not seeking to condemn you for your sin, but to restore you to fellowship.
5. Are you consistently and openly appreciative of your husband (cf. Song 1:16; 5:10-16)? As a rule, husbands find love through a wife’s praise, honor, and kindness. I believe that most generally husbands respond well to a wife’s encouragement and kindness. In contrast, many husbands find it discouraging and frustrating when his wife is unkind and disrespectful toward him. I have seen men disengage from their wives emotionally when they are being nagged, disrespected, or discouraged. I believe it is similar for us as wives—when our husbands show their love to us through words, appreciation, gifts, thoughtfulness, etc. it becomes a source of strength to us. If a husband is neglectful a wife will usually find it more challenging to carry on through difficult times.
6. How much quality and quantity time do you give to your husband? Does your husband feel that he can discuss things that are on his heart with you? Do you provide the opportunity for him to share with you the things that cause him stress at work? There is never an excuse or justification for adultery and a man is ultimately responsible for remaining pure, but a man whose wife does not show appreciation and attentiveness to him could become more vulnerable to a flattering temptress that would show an interest in him.
7. In what ways do you show your husband that you are on his side? Does he know you are cheering him on? (cf. Prov. 31:23)? As he considers striving for higher goals, and weighs his assets against his liabilities, which are you? Can he say, "The whole world may be against me, but I know I can count on God and my wife to be with me all the way?" Or must he sigh, "This will be challenging, and all the more so because I can never predict from hour to hour whether my wife will be my best friend or my worst and cruelest enemy" (cf. Prov. 25:19)? Or worse still, does he feel, "I don't see how I can even try this, since my wife will be cutting and tearing at me every step of the way" (Prov. 12:4b)?
8. In what ways do you show your husband that your body belongs to him alone? (cf. Prov. 5:19; 1 Cor. 7:3b)? What can I say here? Do you put your husband off because of a headache? Do you withhold intimacy as a form of punishment or a way to manipulate your husband to get your way?
9. What reasons do you give your husband to be proud of you? Do you ever disgrace your husband (Prov. 12:4)? The zest for living that animates a man — or its lack — can reflect his wife's impact on him.
10. In what ways do you support, complement, and enhance your husband in his training of the children (Prov. 13:24; 1 Pet. 3:1, 2)? Do you ever interfere with his leadership (Prov. 10:1b; 29:15)? God’s design is for the husband to be the head of the home. Consider ways that you can encourage your husband to take this lead. If he is not, is there any possibility that he has “given up” this leadership because of the constant struggle he has with you?
11. How do you cultivate spiritual growth in your home? (cf. Job 2:9, 10; Prov. 12:4b)? They say that women most generally set the tone of the home. What tone do you set? Is it a place that is conducive for spiritual growth—as far as it depends on you? What part do you have in providing a restful, quiet refuge from the world and its sins?
12. How can you draw your husband closer to God through your words? (Song 4:16; 7:11)(Prov. 19:13b [Hebrew = something like "striking," or "assaulting dripping"; 27:15]? Do you use your tongue to build him up (Prov. 12:4; 14:1), or to tear him down (ibid.)? Be careful how you use your words. They are powerful. Cutting remarks, passive aggressive jabs, and tongue lashings will drive anyone away. Our words can cut through to a person’s soul and hurt them deeply.
13. How wise are you in accepting your husband's correction, whether mild or intense? Okay—this one can be a tough one for me. And in my experience with talking with other women, I am not alone. It is hard to welcome critique. It is hard to be told we have done something wrong or that we need to make adjustments to what we are doing. But a wise woman will welcome her husband’s rebukes, instructions, and challenges (Ps. 141:5; Prov. 9:8b, 9). One of the jobs that our husbands have is to love us as Christ does. Part of loving a person in this way means rebuking them when they need it. God has also commanded our husbands to be a part of the process of holiness in our lives. What makes it even harder to accept rebuke is when our husbands seem to lack compassion, gentleness, or humility in their approach. Yet, if we are wise, we will filter the way in which the message was delivered and consider the truth that is in it. No matter what, being wise will mean always keeping a teachable heart, no matter the spirit in which the message was delivered.
14. When you disagree with your husband, do you continue to respect him and the position that God has placed him in? Do you respect your husband in your heart, in how you think of him (Prov. 4:23; cf. 1 Pet. 3:2, 5, 6 with Gen. 18:12 [i.e. Sarah thought of Abraham as "my lord" in her heart])? Are you quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry (James 1:19)? Do you leave room for the possibility that you might be wrong? Are you willing to admit when you are wrong? Are you willing to run to the foot of the cross first? Or do you feel that he should admit his wrong first? Do you disagree in humility? Cor. 13:5b)? Do you give him the benefit of a doubt (1 Cor. 13:7), or do you "shoot first and ask questions later," or never? Do you "declare war" easily (contra 1 Cor. 13:5), or seldom or never (Eph. 4:2; Jas. 3:17)? Do you consider if this is just a preference rather than “he is wrong” issue?
15. When you realize that your husband is mistaken how do you handle it? Do you focus on winning him, by means of godly and respectful behavior (1 Peter 3:1, 2)? Are you more concerned about and for him than you are about proving yourself right? (Prov. 21:9, 19; 25:24; 27:15)? Again, assuming that your husband is indeed mistaken or in the wrong, how do you think about him? Do you refuse to judge his motives, or do you allow yourself to judge him, concluding that his motivation is evil (Matt. 7:1)? Do you think the worst of him, or the best (1 Cor. 13:7)? Do you let yourself be lured into thinking of and treating him as a despised enemy, or do you love and desire to help him as a dear friend — as you would want to be treated, were you in error (ibid.; Matt. 7:12)? Are you building a case against him in your heart, and devising strategies to defeat him? Do you continually set up unreasonable expectations for your husband to meet--setting him up for constant failure, or are you nurturing love and respect for him, and conceiving ways to help, bless, serve, adorn, and win him (Gen. 2:18; Prov. 12:4; 31:12; Rom. 13:10; 1 Pet. 3:1)? Are you looking for ways to be served or to serve?
16. In what ways can your husband’s heart trust in you? Is he able to be confident that you will do him good and not evil all the days of your life (Prov. 31:11, 12)? Does he have reason to be sure of your love, your support, your friendliness, your companionship, your help — all those things you promised him when you married him (Gen. 2:18, 24, 25; Prov. 2:17)? Or must he always be on guard, fearful of the next conflict? Can he concentrate on moving forward, of must he ever guard his flank, fearing your next assault? Does he live in fear that you might unexpectantly leave him?

My week

2008-01-20T13:49:00.001-08:00

Thanks for all your prayers...we have needed them. The past week has been hard and pretty busy. I wasn't home much at all. Unfortunately, b/c of family strife my grandfather's estate had to be settled right away. My mom was the legal executor of that. Thus, my brother, myself and Paul were pretty tied up in that this week.

Due to the fact that most of my family are not saved and that they do crack cocaine there was alot of conflict. At one point my uncles got into it and I had to call the police--it was a pretty ugly fight. I thought they would kill each other. Guns were within reach...kind of scary. So sad that earthly possessions are that important and that there is so much bitterness and hositilty that lives within their hearts. The police did come and calm the situation. There were some unfortunate things that led up to this conflict and since then there have been more. Threats have been made on our lives and my grandfather's house. Anyway, the saga continues there...

So, of course, many cards have come in the mail. So sweet. It is encouraging when people let you know that you are thought of and prayed for. They all have meant a great deal to me. But there is one that has stood out to me the most. A lady in our church sent me a "Give Thanks" list with her card. Giving thanks is so key to handling grief in a way that will give glory to God. Hey, giving thanks is key to everything really! And yet, it is something we forget to do the most often. It's probably the most obvious thing we know we should do...but alas, we forget!

So, I want to share what I am thankful for from this trial:
I have so many many things to be thankful for. The Lord has granted such peace and grace this week. I don't know what I would do without him.
It struck me just how complicated my family's lives are...they are so afraid of the police. I am thankful for a different and better life. I was reminded of the verses in Romans 13 about how if you live a life of good you have no reason to fear the authority. That is definitely a blessing I have never realized I had. I have had that blessing and didn't even realize it. I wonder how many things I have and don't realize it.
I think that I have alot more peace than I even realize. Do you know what I mean?
I guess I haven't realized how much grace and peace is right there at my disposal. But it is always there...grace upon grace...it will never run out.
It is always flowing.
So many things have gone through my mind this week. I am so grateful for God's truth from scripture. Usually we think of truth as being for the purpose of teaching, learning, and correction...but it is also for the purpose of comfort. God's truth is reassuring. It is sweeter than honey in the comb. My love for God's truth has grown alot just in this past week.
The other thing that I am thankful for has been God's forgiveness and love. If it hadn't been for his love given to me I could have never forgiven what needed to be forgiven and I too, like my uncles would live in perputual bitterness and unforgiveness.
I thought this morning in church about how if I am a child of God I am without excuse for unforgiveness or bitterness in my heart. Since I have experienced that love, forgiveness, and kindness then I am able to forgive. I am able to love unconditionally and I am able to extend kindness even when someone has heaped evil on me. Yet, even God's children waste alot of their lives away with unforgiveness and bitterness. Perhaps it is b/c we either don't truly appreciate and understand God's love for us...or we don't care about it. But I am learning more and more just how powerful and deep the Father's love really is.

The Lord gives the Lord takes away, blessed be His name!

Di

Take Heart

2008-01-18T08:43:00.001-08:00

This is a quote by Paul Tripp on the phrase, "Take heart" found in Psalms 27.

"When I'm in difficulty and I "take heart" in the Lord, rather than be weakened by the difficulty, I grow stronger. The more I meditate on the glory of God, the more my faith grows; the more my faith grows the more I respond to life with hope and courage; the more I respond to life with hope and courage, the more I harvest the new fruit in concrete changes in the situations and relationship that I am facing.

If you're God's child, you have reason to "take heart," no matter what you're facing."

Prayer vs Thinking

2007-12-19T21:20:00.000-08:00

y times we hear, "just pray about it." But the older I get the more I realize that I have used prayer to tell God what I want, to ask Him to bless what I want, to push my will on Him, to vent my frustrations, to worry and complain, and to avoid what I know He already wants me to do. We really misuse prayer sometimes. And perhaps the most commonly misuse is for the purpose of stalling. We already know what God wants us to do and we stall for more time all in the name of "I need to pray some more about that." It's sort of like reading a command in scripture, turning around and saying, "well, I need to pray about that and ask God if he really meant for me to obey." Nothing wrong with praying that GOd would give me strength to obey...but it shouldn't be a stall tactic. Came across a quote today:

Martyn Lloyd-Jones in his teaching of John's first epistle. He writes:

In a situation of crisis, the New Testament does not immediately say, "Let us pray." It always says first, "Let us think, let us understand the truth, let us take a firm hold of the doctrine." Prayer may be quite useless and quite void. . . . Prayer is sometimes an excuse for not thinking, an excuse for avoiding a problem or a situation. Have we not all known something of this in our personal experience? We have often been in difficulty and we have prayed to God to deliver us, but in the meantime we have not put something right in our lives as we should have done. Instead of facing the trouble, and doing what we knew we should be doing, we have prayed. I suggest that at a point like that, our duty is not to pray but to face the truth, to face the doctrine and to apply it. Then we are entitled to pray, and not until then.

Big Story Perspective

2007-12-15T12:01:00.001-08:00

Okay...so often I get this idea in my mind that this life, this story, every drama, every trial, every blessing that goes on in my life is all about "MY story" and I am the key character in my drama. But you know, there is such a bigger picture to everything that happens to each of us. We are just embedded in a bigger story: GOD'S story. I am just a very very small part...I mean very small. I think the toughest time for me to remember this is when someone sins against me. I think that it is a sin against me and me only. I think that since I believe this I can deal with it according to how it will help me. Perhaps pragmatically, I will decide to obey scripture about dealing with conflict, just when it is in MY best interest. I also tend to let that sin against me get me all bent out of shape--especially if I am lacking an eternal perspective about the crisis/conflict. I suppose an eternal perspective will keep me from falling apart or responding in an out of control manner. Sometimes, when a person offends us we can think that that is what life is all about...MY disappointments, MY hurts, MY offenses, and so forth. When we think this way it can cause us to be consumed by these disappointments...and I think that is where we will find much unhappiness, lack of joy, and discontentment. Perhaps it is like letting our joy and contentment rest on what others do. But if I can grasp that bigger picture, that eternal picture and find my rest in that eternal hope, then maybe disappointments from others won't be such a zinger that knocks me down.

I can't help but think about Joseph and his response to his brother's who had sold him to slavery: "You intended to harm me, but God meant it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." (Genesis 50:20)

It is very evident in his response that he had a "bigger" picture of life. He didn't see himself as the key character or his life as the main story line. He saw his life as a very small part in a bigger picture. That picture is God's redemption story. We are all embedded in this "redemption story." So in reality, there is only one story. Not millions and billions. Just one. GOD'S. And it's a story about redeeming love. And the cool thing is, Jesus' name is whispered in every part of the story...in your part and mine. His name is whispered in the part about Noah and the flood; Adam and Eve; Jonah and the whale; Daniel and the lions; and Shadrach, Meshach, and Abindego in the fiery furnace. Jesus is the main character. His demonstration of the greatest love: dying on the cross for our sins is the main story line.

I guess I really need to get to a place where I see myself as a small part in a bigger story. One story of all time. Not many different stories. Maybe this perspective will help me learn to respond to being sinned against in a graceful way.

So the next time someone sins against me I need to remember:

1. Turn to the Lord--not away from Him. Our sinful responses and focus can cause us to turn away from the Lord in these difficult situations. I need to continue to meditate on Him and His goodness, His beauty, His love, His forgiveness, His faithfulness, and all other attributes that we see in this Larger Story of the main character: Jesus. It's easy to dwell on all the mean and nasty things people say and do to us. We can become consumed by the hurt others cause us. But letting my mind consider and meditate on the Lord and His character is a better replacement and will keep my focus on that Bigger Picture and the Main Character.

2. Remember your place. Your life no longer belongs to you. Your story is no longer just your story. You now are part of a kingdom of another and your life is part of the plan and purposes of that kingdom. Don't allow yourself to begin to think that you're in the center of your universe. Remember, you've been chosen to live for the glory of another, and when you do, you'll reach levels of personal contentment and joy that aren't possible any other way.

3. Be wise: learn your lessons. Let the trials, the hurt of others strengthen your character. God has you in the painful moment, not simply to reveal himself to you, but to grow and change you through it as well. He's chosen to keep you in this fallen world because he has a bigger purpose than your happiness. He also isn't done refining you. Sure, you long for the grace of release and the grace of relief, and sometimes you do experience these, but primarily this moment is a moment of refinement. The heat of interpersonal difficulty is meant to purify us, something that each of us continues to need. We should never be surprised when life hurts and is hard. And don't be too quick to find away out of the heat. The heat is what is refining us.

4. Reflect his light. Point others to Him. In our trials, in these hurtful times, God is not only calling you to submit to his will, but to actively give yourself to the values and work of his kingdom. He calls you to reflect the light of HIS character. Remember you have died to self. You are now alive to Him, for Him. He calls you to suffer in ways that can only be explained by his presence and power in your life. Jesus said it this way, "that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)

5. Don't be selfish--Be selfless. Since conflicts, trials, and difficulties are not all about you and me, think about how you can minister to others. What will help them and build them up--not what will be easiest or less painful for you. It may call for you to do something really hard. Really drastic to help and encourage them. It may call for you to confront them in love. It may call for you to put aside your own interests and look to theirs. It may require a sacrifice of time or money. It may call for you to allow them to experience pain.

6. Be a servant. Be willing to wash the feet of those God places in your life. Look for ways to serve others. Remember, we are here to serve, not to be served. Don't be about setting your life up for yourself. Don't be looking for ways others can serve you and make you happy and comfortable.

So, we are part of a bigger story. A story of redemption and love. WOW! How awesome to know this and to have the privilege of being a part of that. I am honored that the Lord allows me to be a part of His redemption plan. I mean, it's just amazing! I can't help but think about all my weaknesses and sins. And yet He works through those to make His story happen.

Di

Discipling the mind

2007-11-30T13:59:00.000-08:00

I like lists and questions that help me apply God's word to my everyday life. Here are some great questions that Elisabeth Elliot shares in her book, "Glad Surrender."

The disciple who means to compel every one of his thoughts to surrender in obedience to Christ would do well to test himself by asking:
1) Whose glory do I seek?
2) Is this for or against the knowledge of God?
3) Am I giving mind to wholesome precepts?
4) Am I morbidly keen on mere verbal questions and quibbles?
5) Is it more important for me to understand than to obey?
6) Is it more important for me to know than to believe?
7) Will one side of the question inconvenience me?
8) Do I reject a particular truth because it will inconvenience me?

Blessings--a trial?

2007-11-29T13:08:00.001-08:00

My thoughts today have been prompted by the blogspot over at Girltalk.

Sometimes, when things are going pretty well...and we haven't experienced any "major" crisis--it's tempting to think that God isn't testing us. I guess sometimes we can tend to equate prosperity and blessings with "easy" and "success". But you know, the older I get the more I realize that when things seem to be going well...bills are paid with money left at the end of the month, kids are healthy--school going well, and so forth...that actually blessings can be a sort of test. Those easy times test our character and our faith--will I continue to turn to God when I am not "forced" to? Will I continue to seek answers in His word even when I sense clear directions and I know we are in His will? When things are going well, I think as Americans in particular we tend to lose sight of God.

Here is a quote from Spurgeon that I thought was good:

"But another testing moment is prosperity. Oh! there have been some of God's people, who have been more tried by prosperity than by adversity. Of the two trials, the trial of adversity is less severe to the spiritual man than that of prosperity. It is a terrible thing to be prosperous. You had need to pray to God, not only to help you in your troubles, but to help you in your blessings. Mr. Whitfield once [requested prayer] for a young man who had-- stop, you will think it was for a young man who had lost his father or his property. No! 'The prayers of the congregation are desired for a young man who has become heir to an immense fortune, and who feels he has need of much grace to keep him humble in the midst of riches.' That is the kind of prayer that ought to be put up; for prosperity is a hard thing to bear."

Easy times are a hard time to bear as well...it's during that time we can let our guard down and forget to seek God as our helper...it's during that time our flesh can easily rise up in us in the form of pride. Then the "hard" stuff hits, and we lack the knowledge and faith to endure.

Perhaps you find yourself shaken during most tests...it could be because you let your guard down during the "easy" times. So, seek God all the time...never let your guard down. It's always a battle going on. Consider the "easy" times as breaks from the war. But expect the "hard" times most. Be blessed in the "easy" times, but don't expect your life to be "easy" all the time...that will come in heaven!

Using Thanksgiving as a Measuring Rod?

2007-11-25T16:22:00.000-08:00

Recently my son and I have been looking at how giving thanks effects our daily lives. One particular passage has snagged our attention.

I Timothy 4:1-5:

1The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. 2Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. 3They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. 4For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, 5because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.

As we have been pondering this passage and discussing we have seen how God intended for us to enjoy life. God intended for us to enjoy food. Clothes. And many other things. We don't make our selves more spiritual by abstaining from the things God intended for us to enjoy. Everything God created was intended for us to enjoy so that we would turn back and praise Him for it. That glorifies Him.
But the question came up--how much is too much. We are warned about gluttony. We warned not to love money. We are commanded to not make idols from our material good. So how can we know that we have gone over board with too much food? Or too much emphasis on clothes, video games, TV?
My son asked, how do I know what video games I can play? I asked him, "can you genuinely thank God for it?" He said, "sometimes, if the game has strong language in it I can't. How can I thank God for sin?" We carried this over to food. "Can I genuinely thank God for what I am about to eat?" If I can't than perhaps it would be sin for me to eat it. If I can't thank God for something, then it would be sin to partake of it.
So, we have learned a new aspect of thanksgiving in our home--thanksgiving as a measuring rod for whether or not we can partake of a video game or not or TV show. If we can't say "thank you Lord for this game or this movie." Then perhaps it wouldn't be right to partake of it. I liked how my son put it, "how can I say thanks for the opportunity to view sin?" So, I have been doing this alot lately myself. Asking, "can I truly thank God for this movie?" "Can I thank God for this book?" "Can I thank God for these purchases at the store?" "Can I thank God for this food?"
Try it...see what happens. Ask this question about everything you do today. It just seems to give some real direction and perspective. And I find myself thanking God more in the process.
I think he is on to something here.

Di

No more mommy bear

2007-11-12T14:14:00.000-08:00

When Paul and I were just beginning our family we sat down and talked about our goals. What do we want our family to be like? What is our top goals. The number one of course was that our family would glorify God through serving and honoring Him in our words, attitudes, thoughts, and actions. But a second goal kept surfacing as important. That was to raise our children to be godly adults dependent on God, not us. We based this goal on :
1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 (New International Version)

11Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, 12so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

I like goals...they give me clear directions. They tend to unscramble or untangle situations. One thing this particular has done for me has helped me to put aside my "mommy" tendencies or feelings and let my kids hurt. As my kids get older their situations get bigger and it is hard to let them "feel" it. I like to soften the blow. Another thing us moms are known for is taking up offense for our kids. When someone hurts them we want to be right there next to them fighting for their rights...but as I consider this I am wondering if this is really a right and best repsonse? It's something I am thinking over some lately. Our world teaches us that we should make sure we stick up for our kids...not that we shouldn't ever...there may be times for this, but I wonder if this is a form of "coddling". Perhaps I need to instead of sticking up for them, I need to teach them to suck it up. To learn to "take it". I guess if my goal was to raise my kids to always be my babies then I would run and rescue them and coddle them and make sure they know I am sticking up for them (this is okay--but not the first goal.) My first goal has got to be raising them to be mature, responsible, godly and dependent adults on God--not me. I need to always be putting them back to God, I need to always be pointing them back to what the Bible teaches our responses should be toward those who would offend us. If I run to their side and say to them, "o! You poor thing...those bad people! Well, it's okay, mommy loves you." Hmmmm...well, that would be okay I guess if they were never going to grow up and move away. I could always come running to their side to make them feel better. But that's not reality. My kids will grow up and they will get hurt out there and people will mistreat them...so what am I doing to prepare them for this? what is most important for them right now, for them to feel mommy loves them and hates those bad people who hurt them, mommy will always be on your side? Or do I teach them, our repsonse toward people like that is to be gentle, loving, patient, kind, not returning evil for evil, insult for insult. I need to give them the BIBLICAL tools (not worldly), to handle life's pressures and insults.
Just something I am pondering as I see time passing by quickly. I don't want to raise wimps! I want to raise godly giants. Totally dependent on God, not mommy.
I have to put aside my initial feelings to "protect" or to the mother bear...I just have to. Those feelings are more about me, not my kids. I hear moms, myself included using that as a reason to defend their child...but in reality, that could just be a cover for selfish mommy feelings.
So, yeah, I am thinking about this because my kids go through hard stuff sometimes. Sometimes the hard stuff they go through is because of their poor sinful choices and I have to put my mommy feelings aside and let them have the consequences to their actions. No matter how tough.
This why I am glad I have a husband. I can guarantee that most times my husband is right about the course of action to take in the discipline--painful. I need to just step aside and submit to his leadership in this. He is able to separate what is best from his feelings much better than I do. I need to be willing to acknowledge that God has equipped our husbands to be tough...and we mommy's need to submit God's design in this.
I tell you what, It's hard sometimes. I don't like to see my kids have painful consequences. Not fun at all.

Glorifying God

2007-10-31T09:44:00.000-07:00

That phrase, "glorify God" gets thrown around by us Christians alot, don't you think? But what does it really mean? Is it truly our focus? Do we really desire to glorify God? Do we know why we should?
Someone just recently asked these questions to me. I have grown up hearing them. So, it has just been given for me to glorify God.
As I have been pondering my friend's questions I have come to realize that my first response to her was a very fine prepackaged Christian answer. First, I said that glorifying God means to worship Him. Second, I should glorify God because that was what I was created for. And third, Yes, I want to glorify God...I think...I have never stopped to think about it.
Giving it more thought I am realizing that glorifying God is not just a Sunday Morning worship thing we do...it's a focus in life...it's the driving purpose behind everything I do in life. It is God's driving purpose behind the creation of the world, the trials He gives me, the work on the cross, the relationship He seeks to have with mankind, and everything else.
Glorifying God is lifting Him up, pointing others to Him. Not just worshipping Him, but actually pointing others to Him. So this makes me think a little more about what I wear, where I go, what I eat and drink, what I say...do all these things I do in life point others to him or myself or to something else? Am I being a light in the dark places?
Yes, I was created to glorify God...I am His workmanship, created to do good works. God is also very much worthy of our glorifying Him. But another significant reason I am to glorify God is becaues I am not my own...I have been bought by Him to do with me what ever he chooses to do. I was bought with a very high price. How can I the purchased, turn to the purchaser and question what He wants to use me for?
Now, do I desire to glorify God? After considering this question I was posed I would have to say, "yeah". I do. Somedays I don't understand this desire in me...it is drives me to do what is right in the most difficult situations and when I don't do what is right, boy, do I know it. I can feel it within my spirit that I have not glorified God. I also think, because the Holy Spirit resides in me, I am effected by His passions and desires...perhaps actually it is His desires that I can feel deep within me to urge me to do what is right. But yes, I can honestly say, I do want to glorify God. It has given me such purpose in life. And I have peace with the Creator, knowing that I am living out the purpose I was created for--not going against His ideal for me. If I were to live in such way that doesn't glorify God, I suppose that would be rebelling against God. Hmmmm...that makes me think of Romans 1. People who rebell against God's original design--reprobate mind.
Don't want to be there.

Di

Is your back door closed?

2007-10-28T20:36:00.000-07:00

Interesting and challenging question posed this weekend at a very good Horse show called, "Sermon on the Mount".
Is your back door closed? Meaning, are you totally committed to following the Lord? Or do you leave that back door open just in case you want out?
Are you fully committed to God and sticking it out with Him? Or will someday you walk away from Him?
Better close that door today! If you leave it open the temptation to walk away will always be there. It's like keeping the opportunity to turn away from God as an option in your life.

Close the door and throw away the key. And don't look back.

Tomorrow

2007-10-27T09:15:00.000-07:00

If I am so focused on what I want for tomorrow, then I will miss out on the blessings I have today.

Grace that teaches

2007-10-13T19:14:00.000-07:00

This word, "GRACE" keeps coming up in my life. I think there is something beyond what i have already learned that God wants me to get. This week in my study of Titus it came up again. I have read this verse over and over again. Actually I memorized it in AWANA when I was very young...but for the first time the other day it jumped off the page into my heart! Ever had that happen?!
Anyway, I was asking scripture, "How does grace teach me to say "no" to ungodliness? I am still thinking on this. I kind of think maybe it has to do with His grace motivating me and working in me and through me. But I am thinking I am missing something still.
Would appreciate your input.
Di

Why do I have to always go first?!

2007-10-10T14:43:00.000-07:00

For me, sometimes, I get upset when I have to be the one to confess first in a conflict, either with my husband or someone else. I know that this actually God's refining of my character...I am sure there is pride He is trying to cut away and replace with humility. I was reminded of I Peter 5:5 today. It says, "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble." Pride is probably the root sin for all other sin we show outwardly. Pride keeps us from hearing another person. It keeps us from being teachable and reasonable. Prides stands in the way of submitting to others opinions and preferences. It's what is at the heart of thoughts like, "I know better how to handle this." It's also the root reason we work harder at being understood rather than trying to understand.
I have been thinking about this today and wondering what changes would need to be made in my life if I were to put on humility. First, I think I would be willing to say about a challenge I am having with my child, "I think I will wait until I talk to Paul about this. His thoughts and understanding are at least as important as mine, if not more." I would find myself working alongside my husband as a teamplayer, rather than opponent. I wouldn't throw accusations at him...or believing it is his fault when something goes wrong with one of our children. I wouldn't stand in the way of his leadership at home. Instead I would work to protect it, support it, and encourage it...not resist it. (Whether I believe he is handling something perfectly or not).
But the number one thing that stood out to me was, I would be graciously and willingly confess my sins to him--first.
In light of I Peter 5:5, the sooner I humble myself, the sooner I experience God's renewed grace. The sooner I run to the foot of the cross, the sooner the gospel is shown in my life. If I will confess then I will no longer have to worry about my own reputation anymore...or defending myself. Instead I will be flooded with God's mercy.
I was challenged today in a book I am reading with this, "Am I running the gospel race? Or playing the blame game?"

Di

Only One thing--Really?!

2007-10-09T18:20:00.001-07:00

"One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his holy temple." (v.4)

Borrowing a little from a devotional I read today. This verse just really stood out to me.
This verse convicts me here...David says that he desires only one thing. To dwell with the Lord all His days. I don't know if I can say that. Some days I think I can, then other days...well, life gets BIG to me...and I have tons of requests of the Lord. Now this verse isn't saying we shouldn't make requests, that's not the point of this verse. The point is to illustrate, that David's one real true desire is to dwell with the Lord...that that is enough for Him. If God doesn't provide anything else...dwelling with Him is enough and it is the one thing that is needed. Reminds me of the story of Mary and Martha, when Jesus says, "Mary has chosen the one needed thing."

So, the question that I hear in this verse is, "Do I truly believe God is all I need?"

Quote of the day

2007-10-04T10:21:00.000-07:00

"Oh! Who is a God like unto him, that forgiveth iniquity, and casteth the sins of his people into the depths of the sea? I shall not always live thus, the land to which we are going is far different to this wilderness through which he is now leading us. Then we shall see his face, and never, never, sin."
~John Newton

When I sin

2007-09-23T18:50:00.001-07:00

The Lord has been teaching me over the past year to learn to praise Him and thank Him as a response to trials. Just recently, actually very randomly I have been challenged in this, "When I sin what is my first response?"
Do I try to fix myself?
Do I turn to someone else to help me?
Do I feel sorry for myself?
Do I punish myself?
Do I run myself down?
Do I give up and throw in the towel?
or
Do I turn to the Lord for forgiveness? Do I cry out to Him from the darkness of my sin?

If I am not turning to the Lord as my first response that could possibly indicate that I am not trusting Him as my Savior. Yeah, maybe sometimes I eventually come around, but usually my first response indicates what is really in my heart. If eventually I come around to God, it's usually because I have tried the other things to fix the problem first, then I have come to the end of my rope and give GOd a try.

Do I really believe I John 1:9? Do I really believe He is willing to forgive me no matter what? Do I really believe His forgiveness is unconditionally offered to me at anytime? Do I really believe that He remembers my sins no more?

More willpower?

2007-09-11T20:37:00.001-07:00

I get so frustrated with myself sometimes when I return to the same old sin. Repeating and repeating. Suffering the consequences for it and the guilt all over again. I have been trying to figure out why I can't get myself to choose not to do that same sin.
Well, recently the Lord revealed something to me that I just hadn't connected before. So often we think it's about having more will power or determination. Or more help from God. But as I think this through I have come to realize that there is nothing at all wrong with my will power or with the power of the Holy Spirit inside of me. I have a very strong will and it's very much alive and active. The problem really lies within my desires and my thoughts. Maybe desires that have become more important to me than obeying God. Or sinful thoughts that have become a part of who I am. I have a very strong will, it's just dysfunctional because of my desires and thoughts.
It's not about mustering up more determination or receiving more of God's help or power. It's about my desires. If I had desires to obey God and my thoughts were like having the mind of Christ I believe this would make it alot easier to have a healthy will.
So, I think from now on, instead of trying harder I am going to take a few steps back and ask God to show me what desires are in my heart that led me into sin. I am going to retrace my steps and find out where I first had the wrong thought. Where I processed something wrong. I can use Philippians 4:8 to help evaluate if my thoughts are right or not.

Pursuit of Happiness?

2007-09-10T09:00:00.000-07:00

I am still thinking on this happiness vs contentment thing. The more I dig in scripture the more I see verses like, "Happy are the people whose GOd is their Lord." So it got me thinking how God does want us to be happy. But I think that perhaps where we get messed up is when we go pursuing happiness through the world rather than in Him. In the verse I mentioned I believe the key word would be LORD. Making God my LORD. If I pursue making Him my LORD then I will find happiness. But I don't know if this type of happiness is the same as the emotional state of happiness? Maybe it is...maybe it is a state of delight in Him? And that delight effects our faith? Maybe when I am actively pursuing Him as LORD of my life through obedience I will find joy AND happiness. SO maybe the more I am happy in HIM the more content I will be. I Think there is a connection...but the more I find myself happy in the world with the temporary the less content I will be because those temporary things lose their fun pretty quick. And they are just not very satisfying. Drinking of the Lord is what will satisfy my soul.
Di

Being Happy is that the same as being content?

2007-09-06T08:39:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about something. Actually it's about a lesson I learned the hard way. It is how to be content. Being content isn't being happy. But sometimes I would get that mixed up in the way I thought. I would wind up chasing after things that would make me happy and ended up pretty miserable. I guess the reason that I would be miserable is because everything in the world is temporary...therefore, everything only has a temporary happiness. The flip side of that? Since everything is temporary, everything has temporary sadness too--that's a good thing :-). The only true happiness or contentment is found in serving the Lord...that's because those things we do for the Lord and the spiritual blessings He gives to us are all eternal, therefore they have an eternal happiness or contentment. The pursuit of righteousness and holiness will bring contentment.
It's easy to get caught up in pursuing the things in the world. They are easy to see...in fact they are easy to get our hands on right away. The crazy thing about that? The minute I get my hands on those earthly treasures that I thought would make me happy, they tend to disappear in my hands. The happiness they bring might last for a little while, but then I find myself moving onto the next thing. Looking for happiness again.
Matthew 6:33 has been a very important verse in my life. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these other things (what we need) will be added unto you."
My job is to focus in on seeking the things that are found in the kingdom of God--you know, the things of eternal value and seeking His righteousness in my life...when I do this He just takes care of everything else.

Trusting God with my heart--not others

2007-09-04T16:03:00.000-07:00

I wonder, if I would just embrace God's faithfulness and promises. If I would just trust my heart totally to him. If I would just believe that He is all I really need. If I would seek Him digently with all my heart...would I seek another? Ever?

“It is a very easy thing for us to get into a desponding state of heart, and to mistrust the promises and faithfulness of God, and yet, all the while, to look upon ourselves as the subjects of a disease which we cannot help, and even to claim pity at the hands of our fellow-men, and to think that they should condole us, and try to cheer us. Perhaps they should; but, at any rate, we must not think that they should. It will be far wiser for each one of us to feel, ‘This unbelief of mine is a great wrong in the sight of God. He has never given me any occasion for it, and I am doing him a cruel injustice by thus doubting him.’” Charles Spurgeon